Happy(ish) Holidays
The holidays are upon us, and with them, awkward social interactions, relationship tension, high expectations, avoidance, and sometimes, sheer terror. Being a human during the holidays is hard enough, but it's even harder if you struggle with mental health conditions, are in recovery from addiction, or simply don't do well with stress. For all of you dealing with extra challenges on top of the usual holiday shenanigans, please make an effort to take especially good care of yourselves between now and January 2nd. Get a massage, exercise, treat yourself to a reasonable culinary indulgence, or take an extra long bath.
Holidays can be great. They can be an excellent opportunity to spend some quality time with the people you care about. The holidays are a time of year where people are doing their damnedest to control the things they can't. They want to have a Thanksgiving dinner where everyone gets along and the food is delicious, they want to have a relaxing evening with family and friends that feels calm and peaceful, they want their kids to be excited, they want the trip to go well, they want, they want, they want. Having rigid expectations is a sure fire way to set yourself up for disappointment and resentment.It's not necessarily unhealthy to hope for the holidays to go well. We can hope for lots of things. I hope for world peace. I also hope my next book sells millions of copies so I can retire on a beach somewhere. However, if I wake up tomorrow and see that my book has sold far less than a million, I'm not going to cry in a corner. Hoping is not expecting. If I expected world peace to occur, I would be really upset and frustrated every day that it didn't, and that's no way to live. Our only sane choice is to accept things as they currently are.This holiday season, might I suggest giving yourself the gift of flexibility. Approach the holidays like you would approach an improv comedy show: with very few expectations. The chemistry between cast members might be perfect, which could be great, but it could also be terrible and lead to some seriously cringe-worthy moments that make you want to hide under your chair. Most likely, it'll be somewhere in between. It's best to just sit back, let go of your expectations, and just experience whatever happens. Look at it with a non-judgmental curiosity.Every event that happens during this holiday season is neither wrong nor right; it just is. As events occur, use the information to determine your next move. Is uncle Fred drunk and body-slamming guests again? If so, don't lament over how Thanksgiving is ruined, just get yourself and your loved ones away from Fred and move on with your day. Turkey is burnt and you have to order Chinese take-out? So be it. Go with the flow and laugh at the unpredictable nature of the universe. Your relaxed attitude might inspire your friends and family to practice being flexible themselves.